Kindness or weakness?

Do we equate kindness with weakness? When I searched Pinterest for “Kindness images” almost all images were for school activities on teaching kindness to kids. Are we as grownups exempt from being kind?

According to www.thesaurus.com, being kind is more than simply being polite or nice. Synonyms for “kind” are affectionate, considerate, amiable, cordial, charitable, courteous, compassionate, and friendly. Sometimes kindness can be as minimal as abstaining from making an unkind comment.

I read in the letters column of a magazine about a woman who wanted to spoil herself by buying a bottle of perfume. Confused by the variety, she asked the shop assistant for advice. The woman answered quite rudely: “I do not know you, so I can’t help you choose a perfume, you must find what you like for yourself.” She left the customer who, fortunately, was approached by another assistant who helped her in a more acceptable manner to decide on a perfume she liked.

How would you react when someone reacts rudely or unkindly to you? Isn’t our knee-jerk reaction to retaliate in the same rude/unkind manner? The woman who bought the perfume could not stop thinking about that first assistant’s reaction. Being a kind person (this is my assumption), she thought there must be a reason for such uncalled-for behaviour. She bought a bunch of flowers and went back to the shop assistant. She gave her the flowers and asked her if she was ok. The shop assistant burst into tears and started to confide in the kind woman. She apologized for her behaviour and admitted that she was going through a tough time and that she was physically abused by her husband the previous night.

Of course, this does not excuse the assistant’s unprofessional behaviour, but surely it could explain why she reacted that way. The kind woman surely must have made a huge difference to the other woman’s rotten day. A kind word or gesture does not have to cost anything but can make all the difference to someone else. The client could have laid a complaint to the store’s management and it could have resulted in a warning to the assistant or even losing her job.

Being rude to people and being unprofessional in the workplace is unacceptable and is an issue that should be addressed. I do not think the assistant in the story above would be rude to a client again after being treated with such undeserved kindness and she could keep her (much needed, I assume) job. Unfortunately, there are those among us who think it is ok to be rude and maybe they have their reasons too. All I am saying is that sometimes a little kindness goes a long way.

Life can be hard most of the time and some days many people hang on by a thin thread to get through their day. Could you be the person with a kind word or gesture to help someone get through a difficult day? Sometimes you won’t even realize what your smile or kind word meant to someone, but it can make all the difference to that person.

Kindness does not equate to weakness and I think it is a sign of a mature, compassionate character. We are so scared to be abused by others that we perceive every uncalled-for action of others as a personal insult. We do need boundaries and should not allow others to disrespect us. Sometimes, especially if you are having a good day, it will make your day even better if you show kindness to someone else who is suffering through a bad day. Hopefully, when you go through one of those miserable days, a kind soul will cross your path and make it a little better.

Apparently, kindness is an adorable attribute for kids, not so much for adults. What a pity as I think we can all appreciate a little kindness in the world.

Till we chat again, may you spread and receive kindness.

Shirley Rose