How do you like to entertain at home?

On Cooking and Entertaining

My mom cooked all our meals on a black Dover stove. We had the most basic of kitchens and no electricity. To boil water quickly or to fry some eggs and sausages, we had a Primus. (A small paraffin stove.)

Mamma’s food was simple and delicious, and she excelled in baking, in spite of the most basic tools to her disposal. I never had the desire to help in the kitchen and would rather clean the house or iron the washing. Preparing food in that hot kitchen during summer, was no picnic. Mamma used to get up at an ungodly hour to finish her chores while it was still “cool” in the early morning.

When I got married at the age of twenty-one, I did not have many cooking skills. My husband used to say that I treat him like a God, serving him burnt offerings. At first we lived in a two-roomed granny flat like most newly-weds those days, but at least we had electricity. I cooked on a two-plate stove (no oven) and a one-plate gas stove, all portable. Ironically, our family just moved into our dream house the year before my marriage.

The first time “entertaining” in our place, was when we invited a couple who we have been friends with, to Sunday lunch. We expected them to come around twelve and the food was ready by twelve-thirty. I cannot even remember what was on the menu, but it probably was meat, vegetables and starch. For pudding, “can and custard”. I was stressing already, because this was a big deal for me and just when we thought they were not coming anymore, they arrived almost two hours late with no excuse. It was not an encouraging start to entertaining.

We moved to Cape Town in 1989 and became part of a group of friends and we were invited over the years to some lavish parties. There were always many people and a lot of food, served buffet style, at these parties. I never really got over my entertainment-jitters, but at least I have gained enough cooking-experience to invite one or two families at a time, to our house. A few times, for a special birthday or anniversary, I enlisted the help of caterers.

We were once invited to a fiftieth birthday of a work acquaintance of my husband. It was winter and they had the occasion at their home. The house was overflowing with people, because everybody, even us who were not close friends or family, were invited. There were people everywhere: in the kitchen, in the bedrooms and some people were standing around outside. The lounge was converted into an eating space with all the trimmings. The food, every single dish, was delicious and the menu was vast. There was seafood, lamb and chicken curry, a variety of roast meats and salads followed by three types of desserts and a birthday cake.

A few weeks later we invited them, as well as one other couple, also work acquaintances, to dinner. I have read an article in “Sarie” magazine about a well known cook, Ina Paarman, who was invited to New York to participate in some entertainment program. She was requested to present typical South African dishes. The menu and all the recipes were published in the magazine and the successful experience was described in glowing terms. It seemed like a great idea to cook the same food for my guests. The food was traditional, but with a bit of a twist to give it some extra flair.

On the evening of the dinner I felt good. The food was tasty, exactly as I hoped it would be. The table was beautifully laid; candles, flowers and music helped create a lovely ambience. The guests arrived and I looked forward to a pleasant evening. When the main course was served, the man whose birthday party we attended, burst out laughing. He found it hilarious that you could invite people to dinner and serve them “huiskos”. He referred to the spread he had on his birthday, saying, “That's how you entertain people.”

His wife just sat there with a small smile, agreeing quietly with him. I tried to make light of it and expressed my apologies to have disappointed him, but that is how I entertain. The other male guest came to my rescue saying that he thought the food was very good. Needless to say, we never invited them again.

We all should know the basic etiquette of hosting and being a guest in someone’s house; always be gracious. I am sure we are all looking forward to the time when we can spend time visiting with family and friends without the threat of Covid hanging over us.

Till we chat again.

Shirley Rose