“DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY”
Most of us remember this laidback, catchy tune sung by Bobby McFerrin in 1988. There are other songs like “Why worry” by Nana Mouskouri, “Don’t worry Baby” by the Beach Boys and “Worry” by Tex Williams, all singing about this global phenomenon. According to Lyrics.com, the word “worry” appears in the lyrics of 75,765 songs.
We worry about money, work, time, our children, health, the list goes on. Worrying causes stress, unhappiness, anxiety and inner turmoil and it is imperative for our wellbeing to break the worry cycle.
Personally, this crippling habit started after a traumatic event in our family when I was around five years old. Uncountable times I have experienced that hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach, feelings of impending doom. Worry, worry, worry over so many things and trying to hide it at the same time.
Over the years I learned ways to cope with the incessant worrying and as with everything else, the more you practice, the better it gets. Words are powerful, so repeat daily: “I am not much of a worrier.”
I read a brilliant article by Tina Williamson on how to break the worry cycle. She suggests thirteen ways to stop worrying.
1. Pay attention to your thoughts.
Worry comes from unpleasant thoughts that manifest in our minds. We tend to dwell, fixate, exaggerate and obsess. Change these thoughts through mindfulness to rewire them. Breathe deeply while saying coping statements: (You can write them down and repeat them to yourself every day.)
I’m trying my best.
This feeling shall past.
I can do this.
Everyone makes mistakes.
2. Get rid of stuff.
Minimalism is not just a fad. The more money we spend on stuff, the more stressed we become about money.
Less stuff, less cleaning and organizing.
Less stuff, feel lighter and free.
Less stuff, you can focus on what you need.
3. Give yourself a safe space and take time for silence.
It does not have to be a big space, could even be a chair in a quiet corner. Use this space for relaxing while journaling, listening to music, etc.
4.Practice calm breathing for at least 5 minutes per day.
5.Create a budget.
It will give you a sense of control.
It will help you find ways to reduce your expenses.
6.Create a schedule (for yourself) to organize your time.
If you overextend yourself, you will not be able to follow through on anything or doing anything particularly well. This in turn fuels stress and anxiety.
A schedule will ensure effective use of your time.
Learn to say no.
Set a realistic schedule.
Forget about expectations other people project on you.
7.Stop being influenced by the media.
It can make us feel not thin enough, rich enough, successful enough, not good enough.
It can instill fears of war, disease and destruction.
Negativity causes anxiety and stress. Take a break from the media, if something major happens, you will find out about it soon enough.
8.Be rational. Ask:
Are my worries realistic?
What would I tell a friend with the same worries?
Are these worries I have about something I have control over?
Are these thoughts even true?
9.Exercise. Even a ten-minute walk will do.
Moving clears the mind and is excellent to combat anxiety, worry and panic.
Exercise releases endorphins which make the brain feel good and reduces the body’s stress hormones.
10.Express gratitude.
Developing an attitude of gratitude can literally transform your mind.
11.Trust yourself and your instincts.
Get quiet so that you can hear your voice deep inside you. We often go against our instincts and we don’t listen to our gut. If you are not in the right place, following your values and needs, you can’t be happy.
12.Use a worry journal.
It is single-handedly the biggest technique to reign in anxiety and worry. Stress is part of life but doesn’t have to paralyze and control us.
13.Healthy eating habits.
Vitamin C (in apples, broccoli, red peppers and kiwi fruit) helps adrenal glands.
Omegas (found in food rich in flax, walnuts and soybeans) fight the stress causing hormones cortisol and adrenaline.
Complex carbs (whole wheat bread, oats, beans and barley) keep blood sugar stable.
Tryptophan is an amino acid (in bananas, soy sauce, pumpkin seeds and kale) that produces serotonin which regulates hormones.
B-vitamins: the stress fighting vitamin and a daily dose of Magnesium.
Fun tips:
Listen to music.
Go to a party.
Read a book.
Have a movie night with friends.
Go camping or just go outside.
Have a family outing.
Spend a day at the beach.
Spend time with positive people.
Here’s to coping skills and living lighter. Cheers!
Till we chat again.
Shirley Rose
Sources: www.mindfulmazing.com; www.everydayreading.com; Pinterest